Listening to the words of Welsh poet David Whyte, and the older I get, the more I understand the meaning.
I continue to clap my hands and sing, but getting old brings many losses. When we get older, we become burdened by loss, of the people we love and the health we once enjoyed. Getting older also means putting up with the bothersome of heaving less efficient mental acuity, concerns over blood pressure and cholesterol levels, failing vision, hearing impairment and then suddenly we hit the “red zone” of mortality.
It was said somewhere by someone that “old age is what we are stuck with if you want to live a prolonged life.” A lot of the aging populace view getting older as an infuriating thing, Though some prefer to think of aging as the price that is required in order to achieve a longer life span. It has also been said that “When a disability arrives I look about to see if death has come, and I call quietly, “death, is that you?’ So far, the disability has responded, ‘Do not be silly, it is just me.” Philosophy is just grand; it gives us something to think about while we get old!
However, growing older is not some disease; there is though, a quickened slowdown of our physical capacity to do what we once did. Our vulnerability increases and it can bring a vital and vigorous retiree to their knees by the time they blow out eighty candles.
Even though one gets on with their physical lifestyle, perhaps skiing, dancing or other physical activities, we begin to feel more emotionally frail and physically delicate than we did when we were sixty. Where we once did more than one thing at once, now we are forced to focus on just a singular chore at a time and even that is tough to d pull off sometimes, particularly at a computer keyboard! More often now it feels like time is moving much more rapidly than it once did and the feeling of gaining speed is prevalent when the opposite should in fact be true.
There are some constructive things about getting older; there is a deeper feeling of affection for family and friends than we ever had when we were younger. Those who we are closest to become even more precious to us. Not a day goes by where at some point I am not grateful for being alive and still existing is pretty good. Things still interest us as we age; we maintain our curiosity for things. We have an increased interest in other people’s lives and become less self-centered. We are more able to lead an active life and spend time with our spouses if they are still with us. We also understand the changes that are in store for us at some future date, life will become less self absorbing still and reflective.
Growing older is more easily adapted to if we are not bored or boring, having a cause to rally around is important and give of ourselves for the good of the future, even though we won’t be here to bear witness to it. We connect to the future through our offspring and theirs, to have an impact on their futures if not our own. We need to find ways to give the benefit of our wisdom and experience even if we are not asked for it since WE know what is best for those younger than us.
Many people say they are able to live in the moment, take pleasure in the present, as they grow old. Not all of us are able to do this at any age. Taking pleasure in the moment is fine and good but we need to reconcile our past, warts and all. It must be reviewed, understood, take the value from it, forgive ourselves for some of it in necessary, and then forge ahead.
When we get older and age is evident to all, we lose some functionality but also gain new capabilities if we are open to them. We see things with a new perspective and inner strength forged through experience, good and bad. Our personality becomes more refined; we lose cynicism and acquire empathy. What were once tragic and hard times in our life are now simple ironies or benchmarks. Life is a pendulum – back and forth through good and bad times, strength comes from always having hope regardless of where the pendulum swings.
We reach an age where we no longer fear dying as we once did but rather the circumstances of the death we will experience, and we will most regret the departure from those we love on this plain. It is a good idea to learn more about dying rather than be fearful of it and that phase will arrive, but not yet. We should continue to live our life like the famous Woody Allen quote, “I don’t want to gain immortality through my work, I want to gain immortality by not dying.”
Fri, Jan 22, 2010
Gerontology, Health And Aging, Lifestyle